I Was Able

I woke up one morning and decided: today I will run a marathon! Right… if only it were that easy. A marathon can’t be run just like that. A race like that is neither easy nor short. However, anything is possible. Of course, not quite so spontaneously. But little by little, with practice one can get to a marathon. I had never even tried, but while I was still on the fence about it, I somehow realized that it wouldn’t be as fulfilling as I was hoping.

Like everyone else, I have had my legacy of less-than-spectacular moments in life. After these moments I would ask myself: is it possible that I did something so thoughtlessly? Then as the years went by, those moments would affect me less. What continues to affect me, however, are the times when I didn’t even try – those decisions I never even made due to some exaggerated caution, chances which I missed due to indecision, and ventures which I put off for another time… Therefore, one of the decisions that I made late in life was to test myself, not with a marathon, but a triathlon. That was an idea that popped into my mind long ago, but I needed an immeasurably large amount of time to finally make a decision. But… why a triathlon exactly? And why test yourself in general? For what purpose? To what end? Well, are you crazy? Is that really a smart thing to do when you get to your age? My friends often ask me such questions.

Well, here I am, having racked up the years, but neither am I exactly over 90, so it’s not like I’m waiting for my final, formal graduation from life to arrive. Long-term research has indicated that human beings achieve peak physical predisposition for running somewhere around 27 years of age. From 16 years, athletic capabilities progressively and rapidly increase from year to year until it achieves this peak strength. However, the same research has demonstrated that something unexpected happens afterwards. That capacity starts declining as the years go by, but much slower than it had increased. So an average person returns to their 18-year-old self’s physical capacities when they get to about 60. Imagine that. And that’s already a time when we have long been in the period of life when certain peers of our generation have unfortunately and prematurely left us. At least we have more and more themes regarding health to discuss when we all get together. Once, long ago, all we talked about was music, concerts, parties, films… Now, just watch when someone takes out a device for measuring blood pressure how we all flock towards it. Without exception, everyone tries to test themselves, no matter what… How high is my blood pressure? Good, huh? Oh, I’m so relieved. My whole life my blood pressure has been a boring 120/80.

So, am I capable? Of course I am. I still am. I’m capable, and more. When I train for those couple of races that I participate in every year, I work on my endurance, partly with speed training and partly with distance. At the height of my training I run 30-40 km a week. Yet I always get the impression that I’m slow. I always try to find something to fix, speed up, or improve. I’ve been like that my whole life, rarely satisfied with myself. Thank God that I don’t lack anything. I certainly have some signs which indicate the yellowing nature of my birth-certificate, but I don’t suffer from anything serious. I don’t have any cardiovascular problems, I have good cholesterol, I’m not obese, I don’t have gout, my hips and knees serve me well, I quit smoking a long time ago, and I only drink on social occasions.

Well what’s wrong with you, then? Realistically, nothing. But still, deep inside… I have a nagging feeling that won’t leave me alone. Triathlons, particularly longer ones, really do present a big challenge. The physical demands are truly massive. Throughout some of the longest triathlons the human body spends 15 thousand calories. And besides that, a triathlon is just a truly long and unrelenting series of trials. There are many nuances and areas of finesse which make up a triathlon, there are enough that I could go on about them for hours. For example, a triathlon is not just three disciplines but six. Six? How can it be six?

Simple. First you swim, then you ride a bicycle, and finally you run. It goes in that order, presumably so that people don’t drown while swimming at the end of it all. The fourth discipline is the transition between one endurance regime and another, completely different one, which puts your body through multiple environments that it must orient and move itself through. For example, the switch from water to a bicycle is fraught with difficulties in bodily coordination, since suddenly there is no water to offer resistance. By the time you transition from bicycle to running, your feet are full of blood, leaden, numb, and somehow asleep. That is because of the lack of solid footing afforded by the circular motions of your feet on the pedals. When the running starts, you need a good 15-20 minutes for that excess blood to be re-circulated by the pressure of solid footing. The fifth discipline: nourishment and hydration. The swimming portion, of course, limits this quite a bit. However, in the second and third portions the real strategy for caloric and water intake begins. How long is the race? How many calories does the body need? How often? What form should these calories be in? How often should you drink water? Of course, many of the answers to these questions are ultimately discovered through experience. The sixth discipline is perhaps the most important since it builds on every previous one: the distribution of energy throughout the whole race. You need to know when to grit your teeth, and when to keep a steady pace.

But why do you do it? It fulfills me, and not only physiologically, but emotionally as well. Excuse me? Yes, it fulfills me emotionally. Whenever I finish a race I am extremely proud of myself. I have achieved something, I set out on the path to a goal, and in the end I got there, even though the path wasn’t even remotely easy. Per aspera ad astra. I feel great even when I’m just training for the race. After the massive effort necessary to complete the race, sometimes my whole body hurts. But the main physiological experience is when I stop after a period of long and continuous effort. The phenomenon itself last very briefly, maybe a minute or two. My thighs tremble, barely supporting me, my Achilles tendons, loosening and tightening, hurt as I walk, I’m drenched in sweat, and I generally find myself to be at my limits. But, for those hundred or so seconds I am aware of every smallest part of my own body. During that short interval, my entire perception of time changes. I feel as if each heartbeat lasts for minutes. I am somehow completely and fully in touch with myself; I feel my presence so deeply in that moment. I am present, connected, and above all… alive. I practically feel every cell in my body pulsating in the same rhythm, with some strange pervasive, all-encompassing harmony. All of that is the strong yet fleeting rush of endorphins which emanate from the body itself. I assume that its presence in the bloodstream is spurred by an immense satisfaction and pride due to a well-run race. But then quickly it all fades. After that moment I immediately think about what I’ll do next. What race is next? How much time do I need to adequately recover and continue with my training?

I was able. What were you able to do? I don’t know, I was able to do all sorts of things. Maybe even everything. Or some things at least. Yes, I am active, which is healthy, and it is also a lot of fun for me. I didn’t stay in bed that Sunday morning like 99.9% of my elderly demographic. I didn’t choose for life to surprise me in middle age with various difficulties and illnesses due to extended lethargy and a sedentary life style. I didn’t choose to get involved in politics and idly waste time following domestic, foreign, and international events which there is no shortage of. I didn’t start drinking. Nor did I decide to try my luck in the murky waters and underworlds of various casinos.

But I was able to do those things too, if I wished. But over everything, I chose a triathlon. I was able to do that a long time ago. But then, finally, I accomplished it. It fulfills me deeply and I’m having the time of my life. My only complaint is… why didn’t I start earlier?